Cry because it’s over

“Shouldn’t you be used to saying goodbye by now?”, a friend recently asked me. “There’s no need to cry”, another one tried to comfort me. In my mind, I added that good old saying “Don’t cry because it’s over but smile because it happened” to the latter statement. I giggled. Next, I let my tears flow. 

I don’t mind crying. Not all the time, of course, but it’s a great relief once in a while. I can hardly think of a way to display my emotions more sincerely than by crying. What’s more beautiful than crying tears of joy in a moment of perfect happiness? What’s more relieving than crying when you’re feeling blue? Last but not least: What lets a bond of affection grow stronger than crying together and comforting each other?

Crying goodbye Debrecen Friends

“No tears, only smiles we will remember! See you soon. Like. Tomorrow. And then some other ‘tomorrow'” Gunda Z.

I just cried past night when I had to say goodbye to my Erasmus friends. “I’m not going to cry at my farewell”, I had told myself before. In the end I will make an effort to meet those who matter to me again very soon. Ergo: No need to cry. Those I will not keep in touch with have probably only been companions for that short period of my life. I’m thakful for the memories we share.

However, I didn’t manage not to cry. We had some drinks. The karaoke machine played a song after the next. Aidana fullfilled Iiris’ wish and performed “All of me”. My friends and me stood in a circle around her, arm in arm. Iiris and I would be leaving tomorrow, most other people within only a few weeks time. Aidana’s song got to me. I started to cry. My friends and me comforted each other.

Cause all of me loves all of you.
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections.
Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you.
You’re my end and my beginning.
Even when I lose, I’m winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you.”

Living and studying in Debrecen has been a very intense experience for me. My friends both in Germany and in Hungary have been by my side at all times. Sharing experiences and memories draws you closer together. I am very greateful for every single one of them. That’s why I can doubtlessly say: I will miss my Debrecen friends. A lot!

Although I have been abroad several times before – even to more distant places and for much longer periods of time – I don’t think I’ll ever get used to saying goodbye. And that’s a good thing! “You only realize what you had once you’ve lost it”, is a much quoted saying – because it’s true. I don’t lose my companions only because life parts us as long as we make an effort to keep in touch. New media makes it easier than ever. But still: each farewell feels like a little loss.

Treasuring memories and making new ones

You say goodbye to your dear ones and a soon to be past part of you life. At the same time, you looking forward to a new, exciting though maybe somewhat frightening future part of your life. You’re leaving behind a certain routine and dear people. You’re going to encounter either old friends or make new ones very soon. Saying goodbye is an incredibly ambivalent feeling.

That’s why I cried about it. I cried tears of thankful joy for countless moments of perfect happiness throughout the past 100 days. I cried tears of sadness for leaving my friends in Debrecen. I cried because it’s over and I cried because it happened. The tears washed away whatever pain was left and engraved marks of memorable moments in my heart. They make room for new emotional memories to make in the future – together with my dear friends all over the world.


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